Like I said last week, there is a third Sonic Kids story but that story had nothing to do with Sonic as a kid. That was the main reason I did not want to look into that. The other reason? CHRISTMAS!!!!! Yes, as I am sure you are all sick of now, Christmas is here. So for the month of December I'll be looking at Christmas themed comic books. Now if you do not like Christmas or celebrate it, I am very sorry. I am a Christian and I do love Christmas. Plus, this is my blog, I'll do whatever I please here. So with that out of the way, let's turn off our brains and grab some cookies, this is Green Lantern: Larfleeze Christmas Special.
As always, we begin with the cover. This cover is very cluttered. The bottom half of it just has so much more going on then the upper half. Yes, the upper half has the comic title as well as the different lantern logos. The bottom, on the other hand, is where we have tons of stuff, such as dancers dressed as sexy elves, a little girl watching in awe, Hal Jordan (I just noticed that a lot of my reviews have to do with Hal.), and Larfleeze himself on fire surrounded by lots of items he most likely stole while his spud shaped construct rocks out. Still, even with this unbalance, it is an awesome cover.
Oh, look! We get a cleaver word pun right away. Truly Geoff Johns is the king of wit. The caption tells us that us readers might need a new spin on a Christmas tale. And who better to tell us such a tale then the Orange Lantern himself, Larfleeze. As I am sure you know, there is a lantern corp for every color of the rainbow. Seriously. Hal has his green ring, I got my red ring, but only Larfleeze has an orange ring. Orange, you see, is the power of avarice A.K.A. greed. The more the wearer wants, the stronger he is. Because of this, Larfleeze can never make a corp, for if he gets more people, he'll get less power AND more people wanting more power. So instead of giving out power rings, he holds onto the Orange lights power all for himself and makes his own corp out of the light. How Larfleeze came into owning the Orange lantern in the first place is a story for another time. All you need to know for now is that Larfleeze is living greed. His tree is also a mess, but that is because he thinks more is better. Myself, I love the kitchen sink and the jack-o-lantern. Not only for being a lantern, but because when I see Halloween and Christmas as one, well, there is a movie that comes to mind.
Our comic truly begins with Larfleeze waking up on Christmas morning. He is, of course, surrounded by a ton of stuff that is "his". I do think his bed is funny, not only for the Christmas decor, but because it looks tiny. I would have thought that Larfleeze would have wanted the biggest bed he could find. Now here is something just to wonder. Larfleeze is an alien and is greedy to no end. How does he have electric? I mean, look at those clocks. I assume some of them have to be plugged in. One last note, I love the line Larfleeze says when he sees the time.
That little spud from the cover, Glomulus, and Larfleeze awaken, eager to get downstairs to see what Santa brought them. Yes, Larfleeze believes in Santa and it is canon. Back in the aftermath of Blackest Night, the huge event that happened in 2009, Larfleeze attacked Lex Luthor, wanting to know how Lex could have a greed to rival his own. Lex, not wanting to deal with Larfleeze, told him about Santa and the Christmas holiday being one about getting gifts. Needless to say, this idea pleased Larfleeze. Anyway, Larfleeze walks downstairs, just thinking about all the stuff Santa brought him. But when Larfleeze gets to the tree, something is wrong.
All the gifts Larfleeze wished for are no where to be found. Of course, his first thought is that of a 5 year old kid, that he has been robbed. But soon Larfleeze puts on his detective hat and notices something else is amiss. The Christmas offering of milk and cookies, the food used to summon the great Saint of Nicholas, has been untouched. Now, in the comic, there is a page in between this one and the next one. That page has on it a real cookie recipe. It is at this time I should share that this comic has a few fun activities in for kids. There is a recipe, a maze, and even a paper ornament to hang on your tree. The reason why I did not share those pages with you here is because I am here to review the comic. It is pretty hard to review a maze.
Larfleeze starts to put all the little things together and comes to the conclusion that Santa did not come to his house. A house in which Larfleeze built for the sole purpose to summon Santa. Larfleeze was about to go on an angry rampage when he sees a TV program. Again, my electricity question comes back and this time it brought a friend. How does Larfleeze have cable? Also, who turned the TV on or was it on all this time? Ugh, head hurt from too many questions about plot holes. Anyway, the TV shows us a Christmas day parade with, who else, Santa. Larfleeze's angry rampage now has a focus.
Okay, this page is both awesome and freaky at the same time. I don't think I need to say why that is, do I? Well alright. As we all know by now, Lanterns can make hard light constructs. Most of the time I complain that the constructs are needlessly complex and stupid. But this time, this so gets a pass. Evil, orange reindeer pulling an orange demonic sleigh? That is just too awesome. But, needless to say, the parade is kinda ruined.
Larfleeze grabs Santa and says that while Santa is powerful, so is Larfleeze! Now can someone tell me how the fake Santa's beard came flying off? There seriously is no reason at all that that beard just comes off like that. It's not even like Larfleeze even touched the beard at all. But I guess art takes a back seat to plot. Without the beard, Larfleeze notices that this Santa was but a decoy! You mean the real Santa didn't show up for a parade? GASP! But soon Larfleeze sees Santa run into a mall.
This page is funny and sad at the same time. Larfleeze wants to fight with Santa, who this kid clearly is not, and chases him with his sleigh. My question this time is why is the mall open on Christmas? I might be out of touch, but I would assume most places are closed on this holiday. Or at least more people would be home rather then in a mall. Not to be mean or anything, but I guess these people could just not celebrate Christmas. As Larfleeze chases down 'Santa', he soon notices something that freaks Larfleeze out.
Holy crap, Santa has an army of look-a-likes. Which one is the real Santa? Well Larfleeze does what anyone would do in this event. He creates his orange reindeer to come out and maul all of Santa's army. But before Larfleeze can attack the army of claus, little (I want to say Asian) Billy says that he has knowledge on where Santa really is. Larfleeze tries to scare the kid, but the kid has more balls then everyone else in the town. Billy tells Larfleeze that Santa is at the North Pole. Now Larfleeze does say something funny in the last panel, but you have to remember that Larfleeze comes from another world. To us Earthlings, North is basic, but when you think about it, an off worlder wouldn't know that right away. Just food for thought.
Of course, Larfleeze does get to the North Pole only to find nothing. Come on comic. At least Larfleeze should have found Superman's Fortress of Solitude and thought that was Santa's place. But no, Larfleeze just freaks out and starts to blast the polar ice cap. Sigh, and who should show up but our old friend to stop him.
And the first thing Hal does is sick a polar bear on Larfleeze. Remember kids, violence before talking. Larfleeze counters with a much more spirited Christmas tree attack, but Hal just shreds them. I get the feeling that Hal does not have much Christmas spirit. Hal belittles Larfleeze saying that he is going on a rampage for nothing, and how Larfleeze hates doing anything for nothing. Okay, that was fair. Trying to talk to Larfleeze for what he is, greed. And for greed to get nothing at all, that is a valid way to get him to stop.
Oh yeah. This page. This is where the story just goes right down hill people. Larfleeze says that Hal is stopping him from finding Santa. Hal says that he could only tolerate so much before he had to stop Larfleeze. So you knew that Larfleeze was at the parade and the mall and did nothing? And do not try and say 'Well Hal can only move so fast'. HAL CAN DO INTERPLANETARY FLIGHT! If Hal WANTED to, he could have been caught up with Larfleeze in a matter of seconds. But no, Hal only now stops him. Larfleeze says that Santa brought him nothing at all and that angered him. Again, mood killer Hal says that Santa is not real and pretty much tells Larfleeze to go home. Hal also says that the day is about Christmas spirit and Larfleeze wants to know how to get that. As a Christian, I have to say no. No, the day is not about Christmas Spirit. It is to celebrate the birth of Christ. If it was only about the Christmas spirit, then more people would most likely celebrate it.
Hal and Larfleeze go back to Larfleeze's cabin. Larfleeze asks what Hal is looking for. Hal says that he thought all this stuff was nothing but junk, but now sees that it could be presents. So Hal wants to give trash, yes trash, to little kids? And no, I am not going to say otherwise. Look at the first panel. There is very clearly a dumpster. And the second pile? MEDICAL WASTE! Hal wants to give kids gifts from this stuff?! More over, this stuff belongs to Larfleeze, Mr. Greed himself. How the heck do you convince greed to give things away?! Man, I hate Hal Jordan.
So Hal goes on to tell Larfleeze that Christmas is about the opposite of his powers, that Christmas is about giving and not getting. Okay, that would be fine if it WAS ANYONE ELSE BUT LARFLEEZE! Larfleeze can only have his powers BECAUSE he is greedy. Forcing him to give up all his stuff and making him generous is like putting a Green Lantern in a room of pure fear. You just don't do that! Larfleeze should, at this point loose his power ring and the ring should fly to Lex, but no. Now Larfleeze, the being whose wants are never ending, does not like having generosity. Gee, ya think?!!
Larfleeze says that he liked having his stuff more then having given it away. Hal asks why that is. Of course, Larfleeze does not have the answer. Greed is not rational. Greed just wants. If greed was rational, then that would have solved a ton of problems we have in the world. Hal says that maybe Larfleeze should stop wanting and just ask what does Larfleeze really need. As Hal flies away, Hal must be thinking that he totally just killed off the orange lantern corp all by himself. And on Christmas. Larfleeze should not be this rational! Larfleeze, Greed, needs to be, well, greedy. Why is Larfleeze so accepting of loosing all he has?!
So Larfleeze looks over his list, at night, next to the fire, all alone in his cabin in the woods which is far away from people and notices that all he 'needs' is his family. Such a fairy tale ending, huh? Crying on the floor with no friends, no family, no other person from the cape community, no constructs, and no gifts. That is a great Christmas story ending right there.
Oh boy. If it was not for my love of the character Larfleeze, this comic would have been bad. The art is sub-par, the story very depressing at the end, and all and all it had an overused message. A message which should be pointless to Larfleeze, Orange Lantern of Greed. But this is only the first week of Christmas comics. They are bound to get better, right?
All images are owned by DC.
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