Zatanna Special part 2

Well you all read last week’s review, right? Let’s not waste any time and get right into part 2 after the break.

Where we last left off, our heroes Zatanna and Jeff were riding to the shrine of ages on magic horses. I really wish I was making this up. The high lord they helped save gave our heroes a magic rock that lets them see only the present. Not the past or future, mind you, only the current present. But it’s magic so it had to suck somehow. They just start the journey on the last page when on the next one, the writer TELLS us they made it.

Look, I might come off as a hypocrite by typing this, but in a comic you really have to show, not tell. And I don’t want to hear that you ran out of room. You guys had 64 pages to get the story across. Anyway, Zatanna and Jeff rid up and they are faced with the chasm of fear. Man magic is always annoying. Zatanna tells Jeff that they just need to have a strong will and ride right through to not be effected by the chasm. Jeff has his doubts.

Surprise surprise, they ride right through and everything is fine. Zatanna sees her parents again in the fear but quickly makes out with Jeff to feel better.

They get to the shrine and are greeted by Kohl, the guardian of the shrine. Seriously, he guards the shrine for countless years and really no one warned Zatanna that he was going to be there? Town of magical jerks said nothing about Kohl. Oh well, I guess Kohl was busy running a clothing store to interact with the village. 

So Kohl tells us that Zatanna is the chosen one whom he has built and waited in the shrine for over 1000 years. He stays alive by drinking from the fountain of youth. Jeff tries to tell Kohl that Zatanna is not the chosen one, but Kohl has a statue that looks like Zatanna so she must be the chosen one. Either that or Kohl had too much free time the 1000 years he waited.

Zatanna says she does not want any of this. Kohl replies that she has no choice but to be chosen. Isn’t that just like a man? Zatanna demands answers from Kohl, but he avoids it by turning into dust and killing himself. 

Just then, an evil shadow attacks and Zatanna splashes the water from the fountain on it. But it’s magic so all of this makes sense in that it doesn’t have to make any sense at all. So Zatanna decides that Kohl was right and she has no other option then to be the chosen one and stop all the evil magic that is trying to kill her and Jeff. But as she runs away, on page 42, we finally meet the villainess of this whole blasted adventure, Allura. 

How does her costume stay up you ask? Say it with me now:

Magic.

Wait, time out. “So shall I shall”? What? Proof read editors. It’s kinda your job.

After swimming in the magic water, Zatanna starts to go on a drug trip while Jeff drowns. Zatanna wakes up back home in Shadowcrest. Not only that, but her dad is alive and well. Yeah, this is not a trap or anything so feel free to drop your guard and completely forget about Jeff drowning. So later that night, with Zatanna in her see though pink nightie, she things something might be off. Gee, ya think? As she is walking around at night, Kasim the butler sneaks up and startles her. She says that there is a single tree she does not remember being there but Kasim tells her the tree was always there. Zatanna agree but then a second later remembers that there was no tree there! So she must be in a dream.

Allura talks to Zatanna as Zatanna breaks the dream, but the colors on the pages are either blue text on blue, green on green, or red on red. Not the best way to read something now is it? Anyway, Allura talks about how she is evil and not the real enemy and Zatanna says that she’ll capture Allura again. Allura shows that she has Jeff and that Zatanna and he will die since this is her realm. Allura easily beats Zatanna and takes Zatanna’s magic jewel thingy. This thing lets Allura find the source of all magic. In case you forgot (or if I forget to tell) that is the point of this quest that Zatanna was on, I think. I kinda got bored with the whole adventure back in the first part of my review.

Zatanna talks about how she failed and her Mother’s spirit, who was that tree in her dream, comes and free her and Jeff. Yeah, Magic is really stupid for how it is the go to solution for everything sometimes. 

After Zatanna has yet ANOTHER break down (Zatanna is not this weak, writers) Spirit mom tells Zatanna that the source of all magic is life. Wow, what a cope out. Mom also says that Zatanna needs to fight the real enemy. Does mom tell Zatanna who this is? Of course not. That would not be vague or mysterious enough after all. But soon demon zombies rise from the ground and a naked blue skinned Zatanna says that she is the real enemy. And the enemy is really Zatanna’s own despair.

Yeah, this story is getting really lame really fast. Anyway, Zatanna fights back her despair and breaks free from Allura’s spell. All thanks to life. Then we cut to Jeff back in the house talking how he is useless in Zatanna’s quest. Wait, what? Is this Jeff’s dream or is this real? Soon Spirit mom comes and tells Jeff that Zatanna will have changed from this adventure. So Jeff wasn’t on the quest? I am lost.

Zatanna wakes up under a tree, says she beat the bad guy and found the source of magic.

…

Where is my red ring. Ah, there we go. 

WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST READ RIGHT NOW?! DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN OR WAS IT JUST A DRUG TRIP? ARE THEY BACK IN THE REAL WORLD OR IS THIS JEFF’S DREAM? AND ALLURA! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HER AT ALL? WE SAW NOTHING AND REALLY READ NOTHING HERE! THIS WAS ALL JUST A 64 PAGE WASTE OF TIME AND I FEEL AWFUL TO READING IT!

(Take ring off)

I am sorry. I know this blog is suppose to be about comics I like, but man did I make a bad move picking this story up. Just goes to show you that a cool cover alone does not a good comic make. I need something cool from next week. Something that reminds me of the most wonderful time of the year.

Hmmmm. . .

All comic images (c) DC