Flashpoint: Legion of Doom Issue #1

So. Flashpoint.

Last year DC had their ‘final’ story line for the current universe. This event was called Flashpoint. It was the story about what if Barry Allen did save his mom before she died and how the universe changes from that one event. And boy howdy did the DCU change from this one life. The main title, simply called Flashpoint, focused on Barry Allen and how he tries to put the universe back to normal. But since this was a brand new place, all the characters you knew have changed in big ways. DC, wanting to make people more invested in this new, temp universe, released quite a few miniseries. Most three issues long, some only one shots. And guess who, for better or worse, bought ALL of the issues.

Yeah. I got every comic that came out during Flashpoint. Some were good, but most of them were not. But that won’t stop me from looking at one of the miniseries. This week, I begin a 3 week look into the story of Legion of Doom.

Now I picked this series for a few reasons. The first is Adam Glass. Right now there is a legion of Harley Quinn fans who don’t like him, myself included. But this story was supposed to get us use to his writing. All this goes into my second reason. The second reason is that it has been a year since I read my Flashpoint books and I really didn’t remember much from any of the series. But I do remember if I liked them as a whole or if I did not. And I am happy to say that L.O.D. is very much a meh. I won’t go into much detail right now, since that is kinda the point of the review, but this story left little impact on me as a whole for the Flashpoint Universe.

But enough of that, toast some marshmallows and turn off your brain, this is Flashpoint: Legion of Doom Issue 1.

 

We start with the cover and, well, it doesn’t do anything for me. Taking this as the first thing you will ever see in this miniseries, there is just some random guy walking with fire at his feet and a random stadium like building behind him. The only thing I was able to take from this cover is that this guy things fire good.

The story begins with Heatwave, who was our guy on the cover, stalking Firestorm. He sees Firestorm turning back into Jason and Ronnie. After which, he does the most logical thing possible.

He burns Jason alive so that he can become the part of Firestorm he just killed. And panel 2 is where my problems begin. Jason is reaching out for Ronnie but Ronnie DOES NOTHING! Jerk, grab Jason and merge back into Firestorm. I am pretty such that will save his life AND take down the mad man with the fire guns. But no. None of these panels on this 2 page spread have Ronnie moving at all. Ronnie just sits there and takes it like a punk.

With the human statue Ronnie having a fire gun to his head, Cyborg blasts Heatwave from behind. While talking about the war going on over in Europe between Aquaman and Wonder Woman, Heatwave lights the train on fire as it pulls away from the station. Cyborg leaps away to stop the train from burning. As Cyborg goes, Heatwave turns back to Ronnie only to see the burnt husk of Jason. Again, Jason’s death could have been avoided this time. Ronnie is now on the burning train.

Why? Why did you think jumping on the flaming train was a good idea Ronnie? Then again, this is the guy who doesn’t save his best friend who is right in front of him. Anyway, Cyborg puts out the flames. However, he says that is only half of the problem. The train is now a missile! Huh? How? Is the train out of control? How did it get out of control? Did the fire do something? TELL US WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Oh it was just a lame excuse to get Cyborg to act like Superman, doing the normal Superhero trope of stopping a train with his bare hands. Of course, Heatwave, dumb guy that he is, runs after the train to where Ronnie and Cyborg currently are. Heatwave, run away from all this and go after Ronnie later. Or hide in the shadows and stalk Ronnie again, and attack him when he is all alone.

So there is an explosion that is never explained since Cyborg was able to stop the train and put a force field around it, shielding the people from any stray fire that comes from Heatwave. But the first from the unexplained explosion made a small rip in Heatwave’s combat belt, making him leak lighter fluid or something. The fluid, of course, hits a random fire on the ground and blows up Heatwave. So he’s dead right?

Nope. Heatwave is now in jail with very minimal scarring. I get that his suit was built to protect against heat and fire and all that, but still. There is just about nothing wrong with him. Like any villain, he blames all his problems on Cyborg, the hero.

He goes on that to get anything in prison you need to be feared. So he pours flammable liquid on a guy who just gave him a swirly. He then pulls out a match and burns the guy. Where and how did he get a match? Why did the jailers put him in a room with a flammable liquid when they should know what his MO is? Why is everyone in this book an angry idiot? But then, chief guard Amazo comes in. Yeah, I am not kidding. While he does not have any proof Heatwave things that Amazo might, just might, maybe be a robot. Cause, you know, the exposed robotics could just be a skin condition. Amazo shoots lasers into Heatwave’s eyes and we then find Heatwave in Solitary.

While in SOLITRAY, some guards come and torment him. I know I have been saying this a lot, but idiots! The whole point of SOLITARY is to leave the guy alone. The point is to make him loose track of time and to make him fall in line. You know, so you don’t have problems with him in the future. Talking to him and giving him focus kinda defeats the point of all this.

But as Heatwave is monologuing, we finally get to see this great prison.

I’m sorry. I don’t care what you do to it. I don’t care how threatening you try to make it. This base only makes me think of one thing every time I see it. I know I don’t put videos in but this time I am going to make an exception. Here is what I always think of when I see this place.

I can never take this building serious.

So Heatwave goes on how this place is the perfect prison and that there are two groups of inmates and blah blah blah. He tries to make it sound like a big deal but really, this place is no different from the old DC jails like Belle Reve or Arkham. Heatwave then gets his main area time and after a spat between him and two other inmates, he meets up with old third stringer villain Cluemaster. After beating up some guy who wanted Cluemaster for no reason, Heatwave and Cluemaster go back to their shared cell. And it is in the cell where Heatwave finally starts his plan for escape. Here are the next two pages for you all to see what is going on.

Yeah, Plastic Man hid himself inside Cluemaster to get past security. What the F?! If this is the best jail ever, how did Plastic man get in? And when he did come out of Clue’s mouth, why did the guards not hear the screaming or see Plastic Man at all? If this jail really is all that, why is there not a camera on ever cell at all times? Now if Heatwave was in solitary when he meets up with Plastic Man, then that would have been fine. But this? This is just lazy.

With that, Issue #1 comes to an end and all the mess it made is not going to go away that easy. Come back next week when I look at part 2 of this ‘fun’ little story.

All Images (c) DC